This is the birth story of Evryt and his mother.
For weeks I had been having random bouts of practice surges. Some nights they would be frequent and regular, but very light.
On the evening of December 5th, I was feeling light surges. Light, but different than what I had felt before. Still, I wasn’t convinced this was labor and wasn’t ready to sound the alarms. At the advice of my midwife, Sandy, I drank skullcap tea and magnesium to help my body relax and to sleep. I slept until about 4:30 AM on December 6th when the surges woke me.
Around 7 AM I went to the bathroom and saw a pink birth plug. This was when I knew.
The surges were 8-12 minutes apart and didn’t require much focus. So I decided to go on with my day. I answered some emails and took a few calls. I wrapped up things I knew I wouldn’t be getting back to anytime soon.
As the day went on, there was a gradual increase in strength of the surges. They stayed far apart but got closer when I was up doing things. I even vacuumed the house at one point, stopping every few minutes to breathe through the surges.
My husband admitted he was anxious, which weirdly brought me comfort. It seems like an appropriate emotion for this moment in our lives, but I knew we could handle what was to come.
We ate some hearty minestrone soup for dinner and then decided to watch a holiday movie, A Boy Called Christmas. When I would have surges I would lean on the back of the couch or over the coffee table to sway my body and focus on staying as relaxed as possible. My husband fell asleep during the movie. I let him be, because I knew this might be the last good sleep he would get for a while.
After the movie I asked my husband to go on a short walk with me. The surges got closer together during the walk, every maybe 4-6 minutes.
When we got home, I took a bath at the advice of my midwife and doula (Chelsea), but I couldn’t get comfortable. I needed to move more than the bathtub would allow. So that didn’t last long.
After the bath, we decided to prep the bed as things could pick up at any point.
Now was time to see if I could get any rest. I drank some magnesium and skull cap tea to relax my uterus. But the surges kept coming.
It had been a while since I last timed my surges and it seemed they were closer together and stronger so I decided to do that. I was on hands and knees on our bed and after just 4 surges, I realized that they were coming much closer. About 3-4 minutes apart and much more intense. A shift was happening. I was texting Chelsea and letting her know what was happening. I decided to go to the bathroom, which revealed some bright red birth show. I texted a screenshot of my birth show to Chelsea with the message “I think you should come”. I also sent an update to my midwife Sandy. Sandy called me right away and asked if I wanted her to come. I said “I would not be upset if you came now.”
It was less than an hour before Chelsea arrived. The rest of my birth team wasn’t far behind.
I was struggling to relax fully between surges so I decided to move from hands and knees to side lying using a peanut ball. On my side, I could see a string of birth affirmations we had just hung up that day. These affirmations were all created by my doula sisters. I read them one by one and smiled. I felt a sense of peace with all of the words of affirmation that came from my beautiful community.
This is when things begin to blur. I will do my best to recount with the help of photos.
I asked about filling the birth tub (which they did begin soon after), but Chelsea encouraged me to try a shower. In my head I was worried about running through all the hot water. I must have voiced this to my husband and he assured me they would boil water if needed. What a good man.
As soon as I could, I got into the shower. Chelsea put a birth ball in the tub for me to sit on, but my tub was too small and didn’t allow me to move much when sitting on the ball. Standing was what I needed because it allowed me to sway, bend, and rock my body during each strong surge. The shower was good, until the water started to get cool. My husband turned the knob to bring more warm water but again that didn’t last long. I knew it. I couldn’t tell you how long I was in the shower but I don’t think it was that long before it was too cold and I just had to get out. Next stop: Dilation Station (IYKYK).
As a doula, this is one of my favorite places for a mom to labor. Good work usually happens on the throne. And indeed it did. The surges were strong, but in between I was able to come back to the room and the people I was with. I would smile, talk a little bit. It was surreal and exciting. But the surges were getting stronger and requiring all of my attention.
Side note: the previous owners of our home were elderly and had handles installed in the shower and next to the toilet. I suspected these would come in hadn’t during labor and they really did. Having extra places to grab onto allowed me to securely move in more ways.
At one point Chelsea voiced the observation of more birth show. This was encouraging as I know this usually means things are moving along.
I would periodically smile at my husband to assure him that I was okay. And in return, I would request a kiss. Oxytocin is my friend and I knew it, but also I must admit that by this time I was thinking something along the lines of “WOW, this is intense.”
In order to help my baby get lower, I decided to do what we refer to as an abdominal lift and tuck with a surge. When the surge started, I tilted my pelvis in and lifted my belly with both hands. A few moments later I was throwing up into a trash can. I looked at Chelsea and I think I said something like “well now we know what that does.” I did not repeat that trick, but I did laugh at the “glamour” of the moment.
I did move off the toilet onto the floor, leading over the edge of the bathtub so that I could more easily rock and sway my body during surges.
As the surges intensified I continued thinking about the birth pool. As soon as Sandy said it was ready and asked if I wanted to get in I confidently said “YES”.
Of course, I had at least one surge on my way to the pool. I grabbed a doorway and leaned into it. Breathing and knowing in a few minutes I would have my glorious water immersion.
As a birth doula, I invested in an Earthside Birth Pool – better known as the Original White Birth Pool. I am so grateful for this vessel. When I got in, I leaned over the far side perfectly in front of something I forgot was even there. In crisp, yet discrete white letters over the Marshmallow white tub were the words “Each wave brings me closer to my baby.” I saw the words and as I read them, I took them in and smiled. It was just what I needed as I was entering the most intense part of my labor.
Over the next hour or so I mostly stayed in an upright position. If I tried something else I would end up bringing myself back to my knees leaning over the pool. As much as I wanted to melt into my body, my body was asking to be more upright. So during surges I would hold myself up on my elbows and between surges I would lay my chest down and melt into the edge of the tub.
I was getting tired and my body was TIGHT with each surge. It felt almost impossible to relax as each surge peaked. Internally, I started to have thoughts of doubt. How much longer can I do this? How much more intense will this get? What if…
Then one strong surge came and POP! I felt and saw a little wave of fluid that told me my water had broken. One more sign things were moving along! I knew this meant my midwife needed to come take heart tones. Each time they had to take vitals it definitely would disrupt my rhythm, but I also heard Sandy comment about my waters being clear and I could hear the strong, clear heart tones. So while being touched was distracting, the healthy feedback from my body and baby brought me joy and comfort. He is strong and doing beautifully through this labor. Everything was happening exactly as nature designed it.
With my waters released, I finally allowed myself to feel what was happening. I reached into my birth path and immediately knew what I was touching. “I can feel his head” I said loud enough for my team to hear.
Just the reassurance I needed. He only had a few inches to travel before crowning. We were getting close.
To fight the internal thoughts of doubt, I would outwardly speak positive words of encouragement and affirmation. I can’t remember exactly what I was saying, but it was something along the lines of “Okay,” “Mhmm,” “I can do this,” “Come on little boy,” and maybe the occasional e
xplicative.
Chelsea gave consistent reminders to use my breath and to relax my shoulders. I needed that. I did my best to let my primal body take over while keeping my awareness on softening my body. When I needed to let out sounds I would pull myself to low moans and deep audible breaths.
During this time, the birth pool water was getting cooler. Luckily my birth team was on it and at just the right time refilled the tub with water they heated on the stove.
It was not long after that I started feelinglike I could push if I wanted to. Doubts quieted and I became much more focused and intentional with each movement during this phase. I would equate it to the 2nd wind one gets when they see their first glance at the finish line. I alternated between my birth breath and bearing down. Eventually, I would have moments where the grunting and bearing down felt uncontrollable – the fetal ejection reflex.
At the beginning of the birthing phase, I chose an unexpected position. I simply floated face up with my feet over the far edge of the tub. It felt more comfortable and I thought it would work because I was floating and there was no pressure on my sacrum so it could move as it needed. I would feel inside myself during some surges so that I could feel if he was moving down and verbalize something along the lines of “we just needto get you under that public bone”. This was half talking to my baby and half talking to my birth team so they knew what was happening.
After many surges reclined in the tub, I started to look around and examine my situation. Chelsea read my looks and asked me if I wanted to try a different position, to which I responded “I don’t want to but feel like I need to.” I slowly worked my way into an upright position. At some point, I had my right leg in a runner’s lunge to see if it would help him turn or simply descend. I believe it did. And I could feel him moving down. I could also feel the pressure on my bones as he navigated the narrowest part of my pelvis. Eventually, we got to a point where I knew my team would be able to start to see his head during the surges if they were looking. As he started to crown, I leaned back supporting my body with my left hand and feeling his head with my right hand. Again, I affirmed myself and my team of what was happening by saying out loud “he’s stretching me”.
From witnessing this so many times before, I had a good idea of how close he was to emerging if we kept moving at this pace. A fascinating bit of knowledge to be able to evaluate for myself.
There were moments where I pushed with more might because I was so ready for him to be born. When he began to push past my perineum I could feel some burning and this was the reminder I needed to be intentional. Helping him progress with each surge but reminding myself what I always tell other expecting moms: be grateful for slow progress because this is a kindness to your body that will minimize any possible tearing, but also “the only way out was through” and “don’t back away: lean into it”. I placed my hand over his head as I have seen midwives do. As controlled as I could, I pushed until the widest part of he head was stretching my perineum and I stopped. Chelsea and Stephanie exclaimed “head!” To Sandy who was on the couch a few feet away. I retorted “his head isn’t all the way out”. Again, my experience as a birth assistant informed me that they don’t note the time the head emerges until the whole head has passed the perineum.
I could feel a little tearing happening up near the top of my vulva. Sandy (who was now right in front of me) could read in my face and my body exactly what was happening and she instructed me to put pressure up where I felt the stinging – I did. She also instructed me to use little pushes to help his head the rest of the way out gently. I waited a moment to see if my body was going to do it on its own, but I didn’t want him to stay in this spot for too long. Eventually, my brain processed the need for little pushes and that’s what I did. Quickly, the last bit of his head was through. I thought maybe his body would come with another little push, but after a moment I knew I would need to wait for the next surge. We all watched him rotate perfectly to allow for his shoulders to easily pass through the widest part of my pelvis. “This is so surreal,” I said out loud. I knew this was playing out as a textbook physiological birth. Then, Sandy noticed what might be the cord wrapped around the baby’s neck. She asked me if I could remove it. I tried, but I was still holding myself up too and couldn’t get enough leverage. I gave her permission to help and when she unwrapped the cord, immediately his body shot out. I reached down, grabbed my baby’s little body and pulled him up to my chest. Instinctually, I began rubbing his back and talking to him. He started to make little sounds and I knew he was breathing beautifully. But it was such a gentle and perfect birth that he didn’t have much to cry about. He was perfect and he was exactly where he was meant to be: in his mother’s arms. We waited in the tub until my placenta released before transferring us all to our bed. I did it!
7lbs 12oz, 21 inches long, 10 fingers, 10 toes, one mom and one dad. What an absolute dream.
Birth Story as told by HypnoBirthing Educator and Mom, Serene Gato.
Photographer: Stephanie Purdy – S. Purdy Photography
